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Myq Kaplan's avatar

dear jason,

i appreciate you and this!

on the subject of the letter writer's not wanting to "have to think about whether I matter to anyone," a question: when you've extended invitations to people and they've accepted, how does that make you feel? seems like you and those folks matter to each other!

also, have you considered just reaching out to folks to let them know that they matter to you, regardless of any invitation? it's something that i find brings a lot of joy. there are some friends i reach out to more than they reach out to me, but when i see them or hear from them, they are often very appreciative of that outreach.

good to remember: "Most friendships aren’t in perfect equilibrium"

thank you for sharing, jason!

love

myq

PS letter writer, you matter to ME!

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Ian Carey's avatar

One thing not mentioned in the question but likely relevant: are you & your friends getting older? (If not please hook us up with your secret diet/exercise regimen/sacrifice to the old gods.) People tend to get more homebody-ish and less invitebody-ish as they age, pair up, have kids, etc., and the pandemic cranked that tendency to 11. But agreed that if you are always relying on other people to be the instigators that will eventually dry up like your skin collagen.

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